Can't Help feeling Jealous.

In my life, I always want something that I can't have.

Strange, isn't it?

One of my friends used to say that,

"Things that u want, but can't have does not necessarily good for you..and vice versa.."

Yeah, she was right.

It always make me jealous when I look at other people who have someone that always will be there for them.

How they were loved,

How they were being taken care of..

And I can't help but to wonder why didn't I have a life like that?

It would be lovely isn't it?

I've been independent all my life.

I tried to lean on others but the fear of being betrayed live in every part of me.

It makes me hard to depend on others.

And to open my heart as well.

Since the last time I did that,

It hurt me badly.

I always said to my friend, it's okay if I was alone.

Since I'm used to it.

But obviously, it's a lie doesnt it?

Loneliness is something that I can't never get used of.

For once in my life I wished I have that kind of someone beside me.

Like he existed for me.

Someone who really care.Not just pretending to.

It will.. one day maybe?

N I'll wait..until that time comes.

My special someone. (^_^)

SYE.